Recently God asked me to address an issue in our church that has long been a problem. I have criticized, complained and become disappointed in my heart in regard to this problem. I prayed about this and asked for forgiveness regarding my “behind the scenes grumbling”. But the problem only got worse and I finally shared my frustration with someone in leadership. The response was uncomfortable. I was told that there was an element of criticism and judgment in my words. Yet the message I was received as truth. This person asked me to please follow what I felt the Lord was telling me to do about it, yet without condemnation in my message. This original rebuttal threw me off into an old fear that I was way out of line for even bringing up the subject. For two weeks I sat on the issue, kept silent and prayed. God kept sending me messages that I was to fear Him and what He had asked me to do and not to fear man. But I ignored the warnings and soon there grew a chasm between myself and my Master. I lost sleep and started to experience depression.

One morning I opened my Bible to Ezekiel 3 and I cried knowing that God was testing my love for Him. I was running from God’s heart by pushing His standards down to a level that would make me look like a sweet, passive person that never offends. Well, Jesus offended a lot of people. The cross itself is offensive! I have since moved toward a way of communicating the importance of this issue to the church, always checking my spirit for judgment, criticism. God is encouraging me that profit and edification often comes through correction. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Proverbs 27:6 I think too of a quote by Dr. Dan Allender,

“We cannot wholeheartedly give if we live in fear of another. Most boundaries are allowed to be violated because we are afraid to offend or lose the paltry relationship that currently exists. To love is to be more committed to the other than we are to the relationship, to be more concerned about his walk with God than the comfort of benefits of his walk with us.

In order to love, we must both honor the dignity and expose the depravity of the person with whom we are in relationship. We cannot love if we distance ourselves or overlook the damage of another’s sin; neither can we love if we fail to move into another’s world to offer a taste of life. In both cases, the lover often is a martyr for the sake of the gospel, sacrificing personal comfort for the sake of helping the other experience his own longings and need for grace.”

Again, I am not condoning complaining, criticism or blame finding. But if we realize that the “beam” is not afterall in our eye or once we have asked God to remove the beam and the heart cry of God is still there, then we are to take action, all the while respecting authority, but most importantly God’s authority. As long as the motivation for my correction is to offer LIFE and bring one closer to God, the words will come out right. It may not be accepted, as God warns Ezekiel, yet that is not for Ezekiel (or us) to be concerned about.

Unabashedly His,
H.G.