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These were my thoughts on Monday. We led Healer for the 1st time in our congregation on Sunday despite my reservations upon learning of the shocking news just days before we were to teach the song to our congregation..Here were my thoughts that I wrote 2 days ago…

I watched our people react in a real innocence to the song that most of them had never heard. They have never seen the video, never heard the story, the lie, or any of the baggage that I struggle to get past. I made up my mind yesterday in the morning service that when a song contains truth, ministers to the people and to God, it is completely valid. The origin is not really important as long as God can use it. I’m reminded that God continues to use me everyday in spite of all of my humanness and baggage and imperfections. Thank you God, that I don’t have to be perfect. Thank you for continuing to use me!

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Fred, you know that I can understand more about this man than many. There are too many similarities between him and me – the way I used to be.

I, too, finally came to a place where I could no longer live my life as a lie anymore. And, without being caught, I came clean and confessed where I was. I lost my finace’ and EVERY OUNCE of trust that I had gained in my family and friends.

The torment, devastation and humiliation of that place is something I would wish on no man. You’re totally naked in public. And you live each day realizing that even though you’re speaking total truth, nobody believes you.

Jesus called Lazarus out of the grave. His body was de-composing and he stunk to high heaven. He was a horror to get close to – standing there in his grave clothing – due to the smell. The juices of his de-composition soaked the cloth he was wrapped in.

And yet what did Jesus do? He COMMANDED the people to un-wrap them. He told them to get close to him – to make a decision to get so close that the smell made them gag – and yet to unwrap him.

And you know what? IT WAS AGAINST THE LAW!!! The old testament taught them not to touch such things, and yet Jesus commanded them to do it – not because Jesus was a law-breaker, but because his love for us is greater than the “law”.

Our “laws” say that this man is unworthy. But I see him as a victim. He is responsible for what he did and I see no excuse in it. But I DO see his grave clothes. I only wish I could be there and help him through it.

I like what Simon said on the Worship Community post. “Where sinners are don’t be surprised if you find sin”.

I praise God that – even though Mike has hurt many – that he has possibly made a decision that will set him free.

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I was caught by the statement that Mike didn’t know how anyone could fake throwing up all over himself at night and having so many symptoms of cancer. When he began talking of his addiction, it occurred to me, is not sin the most powerful form of cancer, that it devours slowly until our whole life is consumed, body and, ultimately, soul? I see those symptoms as physical manifestations of conviction of a magnitude that ONLY the Holy Spirit could bring.
I’m with you, Fred. None of us deserves grace and mercy. And it is only God’s grace that draws us to repentance. PRAISE GOD THAT HE WILL NOT LET US REST IN OUR SIN! Thank you, Father for forgiveness! Help us to forgive.
Our prayers are with you, Mike!

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So… where did “Healer” really come from?

You may remember that Kirk Talley, who wrote “He Is Here” and “Serenaded by Angels,” among others, confessed a few years ago that he was a homosexual. I understand that during times of fellowship with God that he would receive those songs, even though he might lapse at other times; none of us live a sinless life, and we each tend to focus on our “favorite” sins when we fall.

But Guglielmucci was living this deception 24/7. Did he receive the song during a time of repentance, then backslide before he could confess? I suppose it’s a testimony to God’s ability to use broken vessels that people would be so moved while Guglielmucci was deliberately deceiving them – singing while on oxygen.

Fred, IF we believe what he now says – and I want to believe it, so understand that. As Robert said, deception kills trust so I am still honestly a bit leary. IF we are able to believe then as a minister the story actually makes some sort of horribly twisted sense to me. He was caught in a sinful additction that he could not seek help for (or felt like he could not). So the results of that sin and resulting agony are manifest through physical ailments and his life becomes abotu nothing more than covering up the lie he himself finds impossible to face and confess. The stakes are “too high”. Sin is insiduous. Satan is cunning. As we know, the Word reminds us that “the heart is deceitful above all else”. So this is how he coped. Horrible? yes. undeniably. Perhaps a true life example to us all of the way we can fool ourselves when we want to? Probably.

He spoke of the pressure of being in ministry. That interested me.

I do not know all the facts and probably we never will. But I sense in the song “Healer” that it was a heartfelt cry for help. He still needs God as his healer. For that reason alone, the song is valid for me.

For the record, this song touched me very deeply, but I had NEVER seen the video. Kind of glad now.

So let me ask you this, Fred…what’s the difference between coming forward and getting caught? Why is this important?

Okay, that’s pretty obvious. Follow up question. Is the repentance, conviction and restoration any different? Does the person who comes forward have some “edge” over the person who gets caught?

It just seems to me that when we as Christians discuss things like this, there’s a lot of “at least he came forward and confessed” (that’s good) and “he got caught” (that’s bad). And we tend to be more forgiving and merciful towards those who confessed, more angry at those who got caught.
David is a good example and analogy, however.
Of course, a lot of these questions are coming from my own baggage…such is life.

I love this song despite the story behind it. It personally speaks to me. I am so sad for mike but thankful that he was able to confess. I have been so worried that others would allow the Devil to destroy the message of the song. Thank you for reminding us that God uses us all even though we mess up. I hope that ultimatly the message we get from all of this is that Gods grace is wonderful and that all things can be worked together for good.

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