Jun

Margin – Do You Have It?

Posted on June 24th, 2010 in Faith, General Leadership, Life and Family by Fred McKinnon

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… an amount allowed or available beyond what is actually necessary: to allow a margin for error.

Hey Gang,

So the blog has been quiet lately. There’s a reason for that … several, actually.

In April I published this post asking what God was speaking to you in 3 words or less. Some of the responses were very insightful. One of my 3 words was:

“margin”

I’ve always been the guy who stacks too much on his plate. I leave with just enough time to get to my destination, I procrastinate, and I tend to cram more activity, work, ideas, and tasks into my life than I have room to accomplish.

Over the last year, I’ve found myself dealing with anger … a lot. I will lose my temper quickly, the smallest things get under my skin and frustrate me. I began to pray … a lot … and I kept hearing God asking me this rhetorical question … “Fred, why are you so angry”.

It feels kinda ridiculous for God to ask you a question, ya know. Like, doesn’t He know the answer? And to make matters worse, I’m desperately searching for the answer, so why not just tell me!?

The more I sought the answer to this question, the more I realized that “lack of margin” in my life was contributing to this.

So, as the definition above states, margin is “an amount allowed or available beyond what is actually necessary” ….

So here’s the questions for discussion:

1. Do you feel that you have margin in your life?
2. Yes? How did you accomplish it?
3. No? Why – do you see a way out?

What’s your plan of action. Time to bring this blog back to life folks, I look forward to your ongoing discussion.

For the Kingdom,

Fred

http://www.facebook.com/rdcornett Ryan Cornett

Very thought provoking, Fred. Thank you.

I think I have some margin in my life, but it is getting smaller rather quickly. I’ve noticed that the busier I am, the easier it is to squeeze God out of my life. This is not acceptable. I need to focus each and every day on making God my priority and fighting to keep the margin.

God created us to enjoy Him and the life He gives; we can’t do that if we’re not truly living.

http://www.fredmckinnon.com Fred McKinnon

Ryan,
Thanks for jumping right in. Protect what you have, guard it bro! It WILL and DOES squeeze out your “God-time”, and that has horrible impact. Sometimes, it’s a slow death … hard to notice, then, you start realizing you are dealing with things that used to never be an issue.

When I get to that place, I try to blame everyone, then I quickly realize that if my God-time is suffering, I’m suffering all over.

http://www.facebook.com/barrywestman Barry Westman

Fred,

I actually was just waiting to get nailed on this issue. I knew it was coming, just didn’t know from where. The last few months have been extremely busy with some new initiatives at church, and I have had basically no margin, at all. It’s running off the edge of the page…

My wife has noticed it, and I have also been easily angered, so I know I need to work on that area. I’m not sure how or why, but I just know over the last few years it’s gradually gotten to this point.

I know what I need to do, but just not sure how I’m going to do it because … (well, the excuses start here…) I will be watching the responses!

Thanks, Fred.
Barry

http://www.fredmckinnon.com Fred McKinnon

Barry,
Thanks for jumping in, and for being authentic and vulnerable, bro. That’s what community is all about.

I’m feeling your pain – I’m so in trouble in this area, and have been for years. I’ve been pulling off hats, delegating, and even HIRING to try and find the margin I need …

We’re in this journey together, bro!

merry

I’ve been a living a narrow margin life lately. Our family’s schedule is going to be really busy in the fall, so I’ve made the decision to take a break from our worship team. As much as I love it, it takes several hours of every week in rehearsal and prep time. In order to preserve the narrow margin I currently have without sacrificing what is more important to me, which is my family, I have to say no.

I have been successful lately in spending more time feeding myself with the Word, but some days I’m so mentally exhausted that I know I’m not getting as much out of it as I should because my mind isn’t completely there.

http://www.fredmckinnon.com Fred McKinnon

Merry,
I applaud you for saying “no” to something as powerful as serving on the worship team for the sake of having enough margin to be with your family, first. I’m learning from you!

merry

It’s easy to say now that I’m going to step back. We’ll see how long I can last. I had already stepped back from being on the team every week to twice a month, and it’s been an adjustment to learn how not to be on the platform.
http://heatherblankenship.wordpress.com Heather B

Margin. This is a big deal in my house. The fact that I am married to a full time youth minister and I am a volunteer minister for an average of 20+ hrs during most of the year our lives get chaotic quickly! I get anxiety easily when I am too busy, which in turn causes me to snap easily with family.
In order to keep sanity, I have to be willing to be the ‘bad guy’ and say no, even to the ‘good things’ so that I have energy left for the best things. (if that makes sense)
In the spirit of being honest though, I am currently in the place where I have not given enough margin, so I am feeling the pull again. WOrking on setting limits and getting my eyes back on WHO I serve vs the mission it for the sake of the mission.

http://www.fredmckinnon.com Fred McKinnon

Heather,
Yep, you know about this all too well … and I know you have some boundary skills, though, ’cause of all those stinking red “blockouts” in PlanningCenter!! (grin)

http://www.russhutto.com Russ Hutto

1. Do you feel that you have margin in your life? Some. But it’s definitely an area that when I slow down to think about, I notice that I could use a WHOLE lot more!! But then I think about my wife and how hard she works and I feel like a lazy slob.
2. Yes? How did you accomplish it?
I have a flexible schedule and I force myself to stop working for lunch (I work at home).
3. No? Why – do you see a way out?
I think it’d be the same for most people. Just making the time effort.
Bridget

Thinking about margins has intrigued me. We are all so busy with day to day activities, I really don’t think many of us have “Margins” of any kind. We don’t allow for “margins of error” personally or financially. We don’t WANT to expect the unexpected and get very dissappointed when our plans fall apart. Thus…Anger and frustration and the feeling of failure. I truely don’t know what “Plan of Action” I will take to correct this. I don’t depend on anyone, so I just do it myself if I want it to get done. I guess my first margin would be to learn to ask for help…and not expect things to be done exactly my way… Then personally and financially remind myself to expect the unexpected and keep a POSITIVE ATTITUDE just knowing that God is in control anyway, not me.

http://www.fredmckinnon.com Fred McKinnon

Bridget,
This is actually quite profound. Delegating, and empowering others to help … that’s a huge part of creating margin. IT comes with a price, though, especially for those of us who are driven, and want it done “our way” … we have to give that up. Something to think about for sure.

I always think more about “time” for margins, but financially is also a huge area to consider it … we’ve started budgeting “margin” into our finances, with monthly savings for when “something goes wrong” … appliances break, roof needs repaired, etc.

http://www.huskymusician.com Joe

I badly need margin in my life. As a husband, father, son, friend, worship pastor, web developer, I find that I have no time margin at all. I’m a full time Worship Pastor, and on the side web developer for a reason… there is no financial margin in my life. It is so easy to get to this place, and I agree with you so much Fred… we need margin badly!

So how do we get there? How do we obtain that margin? Something to pray about! I believe God wants us to build in this margin, and I’m positive He’ll help us find it if we ask Him.

http://www.fredmckinnon.com Fred McKinnon

Joe,
How do we get there? Honestly, I think as cliche’ as it may sound, the answer could be in “seek ye first … and all these things ….”

When we don’t have margin, we’re trying to rely on ourselves – we’re trying to do it our way. I’m the Chief of Sinners. And as a result, this steals me away from the “Mary” time before God … I’m too busy being “martha” … and if I truly trusted God, maybe I’d lay some of this down, and let Him show me the path to less stress, less striving, and more margin.

D’Arcy

Here is what I would suggest: Calendar planned out at the beginning of the week/month. Schedule in your top priorities first, God, work and family functions. When considering something to be added to the list, pull out the calendar and pray about whether or not this activity will interfere or wear you out for the pre-scheduled day. I find that a large desk calendar (available at Walmart for $4.00) hung somewhere near the kitchen works well. Everyone can see what Mom/Dad have going on and don’t plan for you to drive the soccer team at the same time someone else needs to be at ballet practice.

Another thing that I find works well for me (I’m a sucker and can’t say no to anything) is for me to ask for 15 minutes to decide about something I’m being asked to volunteer for. That 15 minutes allows me to deliberate whether or not the activity is something I really have time/energy to do. If I decide that I can’t or won’t do it, I have had time to deliberate my words as to not offend the person requesting my assistance.

http://www.fredmckinnon.com Fred McKinnon

D’Arcy,
That is some of the most practical insight ever … GREAT ideas!

Lisa

Okay, Fred, I’m going to take this to a different place. There was a time in my life when there was not alot of margin. I found myself in the same place that other “responders” have found themselves in. I know exactly what they are talking about. This is the flip side to the issue – Since moving to a new place takes alot of time to plug into, I found myself with a whole lot of margin. This time with God (alone) has been incredible to say the least!! What was happening? Things began to invade my margin that I selfishly guarded. My time with God was, and still is, precious beyond words. When you begin to plug in to a new community the margin begins to get smaller. It’s a balance. I went from not having enough margin to having margin beyond what I was ever used to. Good? You bet!! I began to grow angry at the things that would invade my margin… Funny how that happens! One thing I have learned – people tend to be afraid of margin time because God may reveal something huge and want you to do something that doesn’t fit your schedule. Margin just means “More Him” – He is worth it!

http://www.fredmckinnon.com Fred McKinnon

Lisa,
Revelation – that’s what you just posted. No kidding. Maybe we cram so much in our lives because we are AFRAID … AFRAID of what we’ll hear, AFRAID of the quiet time … AFRAID of being still … hmmmmm…..

merry

Thanks for starting this discussion, Fred. I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s comments.
http://eddymann.com Eddy Mann

There was a time when I didn’t know what a margin was… that was two years ago. Then my wife and I lost our jobs on the same day. After a period of intense prayer we both decided to make our future employment decisons based on ministry opportunities instead of monitary rewards. What has evolved is a lifestyle that allows for margins… nice big ones at times. It’s through prayer that we remain disciplined in protecting those margins. They are precious to the spiritual health of our family.
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Karen

Hey, you know there is a scripture that talks about taking comfort in that the saints are going thru the same sufferings. I so thought of that when I read this post, being a single mom of four children plus one niece (yes, that three teenagers in under one roof).I started asking God the question He was asking you. “Why am I so angry? Why is everything getting to me? What is my problem? This is not a fruit of the spirit?”
This is what God has been showing me and maybe way off base or deeper than what you were looking for but I was actually reading a book about a woman with a control spirit who was delivered. It talks about anger based and fear based spirits at work, especially if you have been hurt or been through trauma. I really started stepping back and noting the times I would lose it. It was when I wanted things to go a particular way or expect people to behave a certain way, and they didn’t. It was eye-opening because my personality is very laid back normally. But a lot of it was my own protection – even to protect what the world viewed as being a “good mom”.

So to answer the questions, I am getting margin and it is coming by me letting go of my need to control things and people around to “protect” me and those I love and leaning not unto my own understanding. Jesus obtained margin by drawing away and praying. It ain’t about me and it only took 40 years for me to get it. Hopefully that will help someone.

http://www.fredmckinnon.com Fred McKinnon

Karen,
“control” is a huge part of this … I want to be in control … and when there is no margin, and one little thing comes in that wasn’t in my “plan” … and I lose control, all I can think about is what I’m having to neglect or ignore or postpone to deal w/ whatever is happening … and that’s when I start getting angry .. you’re spot on!

http://kitpalmer.wordpress.com Kit Palmer

Great post Fred! The battle to create margin (time, finances, health, etc…) in my life is one I’ve been fighting since I heard Greg Surrat preach a series on it almost two years ago at Seacoast Church.

I’ve had successes in some areas, and utter failures in others, but the benefit from even small victories make the fight worthwhile.

This mindset is so counter to the culture we live in, I have found that everything around me (including myself at times) seams to resist it. There is no “magic bullet” to get there. It takes time, commitment, sacrifice and constant re-evaluation of priorities (needs vs. wants) to not only get to a place of margin, but also to maintain it. I’m not a big fan of any of those things, but if it was easy, I guess everyone would already have margin.

http://www.fredmckinnon.com Fred McKinnon

Kit, I completely agree … it’s extremely counter-culture. One area where we get slammed is with kid’s activities … with 4 kids (and really, only the oldest 2 are in “activities” although that will change this year) … you have all these sports, clubs, and opportunities. You say “we’re only going to do one thing” … but there is immense peer pressure, and the idea (reality?) that if your kid doesn’t do all the other things, they’re left behind …

When you rely on the time AFTER WORK to catchup on personal and/or business responsibilities and each day is filled at the ballfields until dark … the stress and anger come rolling in.

Wouldn’t be an issue if I didn’t have so much going on – I could just leave “the office” at 5:00 and be done for the day, with no thoughts until I clocked back in at 8:30 the next morning – but it doesn’t work that way with me .. yet!

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Margin – Do You Have It?

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