FredMcKinnon.Com

Yesterday I brought up a real issue – the issue of how easily we allow the negatives to outweigh the positives.  If you missed that post and the ongoing discussion, I’d encourage you to check it out.

Today I want to dive deeper into some of the soul-searching I’m doing.  For me personally, I’m really focusing these thoughts on my own heart, and how it applies, specifically, in my marriage and towards my kids.

For example:

1.  Why do we take the positives for granted.  Why is it that I can call out my wife if she doesn’t measure up to my expectations so quickly; yet fail to thank her for all the positives.  (and of course, the other way around – like I said yesterday, I’m the perpetrator, but also the victim, as are all of us)

2.  Why is it so dang important that the positives be recognized?  For me, it’s almost like I don’t care if I get reinforcement from the positives,  as long as there isn’t undue light on the negatives.  I even take my own positives for granted.  Don’t want to acknowledge my good stuff … I think I’m OK with that … as long as you don’t bring up the negative.  (and just to ease any lingering questions, I’ve honestly been pondering this for months, so though this episode plays out at home and work frequently, it’s not like I’m venting hidden marriage issues here!).

3.  What is it about the negatives that are so strong?  I really think it’s the hurt.  The hurt causes pain, and the pain speaks louder than, well … “the lack of”.

So … pain is loud.  The lack of pain is … silent?

So maybe … just maybe, the lack of pain, grief, negativity needs a sound.  Praise.  Applause.  Affirmation.

This was a recent exchange at my house after two back-to-back things were complained about:

“I feel like I can’t do anything right”.

Does that ring a bell?  Two complaints (I was the complainer, and unjustly I might add) now cover “everything I do” being wrong.  Why?
The complaints (especially when they are unjust) hurt.  That pain is loud.
All the things done right?  (the actual ratio would be 1 million right to 1 wrong, maybe, yet the “weighting factor” applied is reversed!)

There probably wasn’t much noise.

See where I’m going with this?  Tomorrow I hope to bring this to a close and let’s talk about some practical ways to make some noise.

Are you with me?  Am I alone?

There is something I’ve observed in life that is totally wrong.  Yet, I find myself both the victim and the perpetrator of this injustice every day.

I call it the “weighting factor” of doing the right thing versus screwing up.

I get the concept of a “weighting factor” from survey results and demographics.  For example, let’s talk about CCLI (Christian Copyright Licensing) and how they pay royalties.

If you report usage of a song, that counts as a credit.  However, if your church has a larger congregation that credit is multiplied by a “weighting factor”.  The bigger the church, the bigger the “weighting factor”.  ASCAP, BMI, and performance societies do the same thing based on radio plays and listener area.

So, if your song is played on the radio for a small station, the weighting factor may be “x2″.  But if it’s played on a big station with millions of listeners, it may be “x10″.

I see this “weighting factor” played out every day in real life when we count “good deeds” or “getting it right” versus “screwing up”.

For example – I can pretty much say the right things, do the right things, be in the right places, and have the right answers all week long.  For each of those “getting it right” the weighting factor seems to be “x1″ … or maybe, “x .1″ … or maybe, it seems to not count at all.

But one screwup.
But one mistake.
But one outburst of frustration.

What is the weighting factor on that response?  Heck, it’s like “x100″.

All it takes is one screwup to wipe out a month’s worth of “getting it right”.

This plays out in my marriage.
This plays out in my work.
This plays out in my family and how I interact with my kids.

And you know what?

IT IS TOTALLY WRONG.

I want to elaborate tomorrow.  This is enough to ponder today.  Am I alone?  Do you agree?  Disagree?

Hey Hey Hey,

Just finished a great nap on a beautiful Spring day here on St. Simons Island, GA.  This day started out with a chilly 39 but has warmed up to a near 70-degree day.  Jon Michael (my oldest, the 9-year old) finally got the bike he’s been holding out for so I’ll make this short as a family bike ride awaits me!

The place?  St. Simons Community Church

The people?  Some of the best on the planet.  Great team today.

The songs?  A great set of old and new:

Walk In:  “Washed by the Water” (NeedtoBreathe)
*love, love, love this song.  David Dantzler played acoustic and led this song today and he always nails it.

Opening Praise:  “See His Love” (Tim Hughes version)
*we’ve been doing this song frequently for years and it just stays in rotation.  Love it.  My wife loves it.  That makes it say in rotation for a LONG TIME.

Worship Set:
“Hosanna” (Hillsong) – led by one of our teenagers, Liza Odachowski.
“Psalm 63″ – written and led by my friend Russ Hutto.  You gotta check out this song, it’s so singable and the people grab it immediately.
“Step by Step” – flows perfectly from Psalm 63, a great old chorus from the Rich Mullins days.

Closing Song:
“How Deep the Father’s Love” (Stuart Townend)
*what a rich song.  Simple piano/vocal arrangement led by Todd, with the band building in on the final verse.

David’s sermon was hilarious.  I am still laughing about his fast-food examples and how his Dad messed him up by saying he was “outside playing”.  You’ll have to catch it on the podcast.

That’s a wrap.  I’m sharing this along with other worshipers all over the globe as part of the weekly “Sunday Setlists” blog/twitter fest over at TheWorshipCommunity.Com – so visit there and see all of the things other worship leaders are doing … and checkout the most recent “tweets” below of other folks sharing about their services by using the “#sundaysetlists” hashtag (code) on their tweets!

How cool is it when you fly up to New England and join a praise team consisting of folks you have “known” via the web/blog/twitter world but never met in person.  Can this group really fit together?  Can they pull off more than 30 songs of music and lead a group of people into worship?

That’s what happened for me last weekend.  I was invited to come lead worship and play keys at two events hosted by Lifepath Church in Rhode Island.

“Stirred But Not Shaken” was a men’s retreat held in a retreat cabin up in in the snowy mountains of New Hampshire.  Then we had a big night of worship on Sunday evening at Lifepath in Middletown, RI.

Joining me was Joel Klampert (guitar), Chris Moncus, (photos and fill-in bass) Conner Byrd (guitar), Michael Mahoney (bass), and David Klampert (drums).

I’ve had the privilege of meeting some of my “internet” buddies face to face a few times already.  This experience was no different.  An instant connection and a deep sense of comfort and familiararity (spell check says that’s not spelled correctly, oh well) was there … I knew about their wives, their families, their jobs, their churches … [sarcasm] thanks to this thing Al Gore created called the internet.  [/sarcasm]

When we arrived in NH we were without power … and stayed without power until the early Sunday morning.  This meant leading worship with flashlights on our music because the generator was barely strong enough to power our sound equipment and the much-needed heat.  When evening came it got dark … very dark … and the two or three lamps we added to the generator overwhelmed it so much we had to go old-school.  Acoustic guitars … singing in the dark.  40+ men, singing at the top of their lungs, “open the eyes of my heart, Lord …. open the eyes of my heart … I want to see You” ….

What?  We didn’t require the latest, greatest songs and the mega-band?  Nope.  We had it, we used it, it was good … but I think one of the most sweet memories I will have from this weekend is standing in the dark (completely unable to play or participate musically due to the lack of power) and just watching Joel and Conner resort to grabbing their acoustic guitars and leading us in the pitch, black night.  Wow.

I felt like a Christian in the early church – maybe in a cave in Antioch, hiding out from pending persecution.

Our “night of worship” was a beast – 20+ songs in 2 hours.  I had only played or led maybe about 5 of the songs.  I learned them on the flight.  The people showed up and expressed themselves in worship and adoration.  It was awesome.

Thanks, guys, for an awesome event.  Thanks to the people in New England who came and shared these days with us.  It was incredible.  To my new friend, Jack Osteen – wow, what incredible words you gave us.  I left challenged from the Word of God and your touch.

For the Kingdom,
Fred

Our Associate Tech Director, Chris Moncus … he’s the guy who makes our bulletin, e-bulletin, and prints master CDs for me to make the podcast, etc.  More times than not, I go back to him the week after asking for him to send me all of that stuff.  Then, he usually forwards it to me from the “Sent Mail” folder where he ALREADY DID THAT.

So, today I sent him this contract.

I do hereby confirm receipt of:
* Feb 28 bulletin
* Feb 28 master CD

If I should email you asking for these again next week, you hereby have the irrevocable right thereto by which you may call me a slacking idiot with no further retribution, cause, or consequence from said parties hereto.

Signed:
Fred McKinnon