My Biggest Battle - 12 years

Posted on May 9th, 2008 in Encouragement, Faith, Family by Fred

May 9, 1996, St. Simons Island, GA

A dozen years … that’s quite a long time. It’s 11:11 PM EST right now as I type this, and I can tell you exactly what I was doing 12 years ago.

I’d just laid down in my bed over in Apt. W-16 of what was then called “Windsong Apartments” on St. Simons Island. It was a normal night, a normal day - but something changed all of a sudden.

As I began to relax and settle in for a great night’s sleep, my room got darker. It was as if someone covered a window - it was already dark, but now it was blacker than any black I’ve ever seen … or felt. Felt - that’s right, I could feel it. Now I’m short of breath. It’s as if I’m being choked. My heart is racing.

In my mind’s eye, I see death. I see it everywhere. I am afraid to close my eyes, because with each time I close my eyes I see mental images of those I love, but they are dead.

I’ve already been a Christian for quite some time … and by God’s Holy Spirit, living in me, I realize that this is the most horrific spiritual encounter I’ve ever been a part of. Still to this day, I’ve never experienced anything like this.

Not knowing what else to do, I just pray. I find my Bible and begin to read the Scripture aloud. I hope I don’t wake up Edward, my roommate in the next room over. Maybe I should? I fear if I lose focus even for a moment, it could be all over.

Minutes pass. Thirty minutes pass. Hours pass. I pace the floor of my small bedroom overlooking the back pool. I pray in the natural. I pray in the Spirit. I read the Word aloud. I declare the Psalms. I battle like I’ve never battled before.

May 10, 1996, St. Simons Island, GA
It’s now around 1:00 AM. This has been going on for quite some time. Just now, my phone rings.

The phone rings ….

Only one time. How could the phone only ring one time when it would’ve taken days to download the wave of thoughts and emotions coming over me and rushing through my mind as I look at that phone. Nobody calls me at 1:00 AM. This is the call. Someone I love has passed.

A quiet voice on the other side seems excited that I’d answered. It was my former Pastor and boss, Craig Walker.

(Craig) Fred, you answered on the first ring, I knew it - what’s going on?
(Me, voice shaking) Um, Craig … hey, man, I dunno, something’s up, and it’s big, I’m praying.
(Craig) Fred, the Holy Spirit woke Lezli and I up, and told us to CALL YOU and PRAY.
(Me, somewhat encouraged) Craig, I’m literally pacing the floor in my bedroom in my underwear!
(Craig) let’s pray.

And pray we did. For another 15-30 minutes. Finally, we both sensed a peace. The heaviness lifted. It was as if I’d been visited by the very Angel of Death. Or maybe I’d been given a glimpse into the heavenly realm where demonic and angelic battles happen daily, witnessing this Messenger of Death carrying out attempting to carry out his deed.

Amen.

I write in my little journal, “May 10th, something is happening, and all I know to do is pray and rebuke death. Something is going on out there”. (paraphrased, sadly, I can’t find that journal now).

Sometime early 1998:

So this incredible gal named Joy has moved to St. Simons Island. Although I knew her in college, we were only casual acquaintances who attended the same college ministry. She went to Virginia. I went to Mississippi. Now she’s in my arms, we are dating, and I’m thoroughly convinced that I’m holding the woman that God has destined to be my wife.

I don’t remember what sparked the conversation, but I share this story with her. Something inside of her won’t accept this as just another one of “fred’s stories”, and oh, there are many. This one seems special. In a cautious reaching out, Joy says “it would be cool if that prayer was for me”.

I’ll never forget my response - probably too bold and premature for a woman who’s been hurt and disappointed by love. I said “yes, maybe I was warring in the Spirit for the life of my future wife without even realizing it”.

The next day I searched and found this journal that so easily escapes me. I can’t wait to call …

(Me) Joy, what was the date … can you look up your insurance records, can you ask your mom and dad …”?
(Joy, rather quickly) Oh, I don’t have to look it up. I’ll never forget it. It was May 9.

May 9-10, 1996, Richmond, VA
Joy, living in Virginia, far away from me, from my mind, from my heart, separated from a heart breaking, broken marriage, gets that phone call.

“Joy, we’ve just gotten your blood lab results back. You are very sick. You have acute leukemia, and you may not live. You need to be in Atlanta at Emory University Hospital tomorrow. Pack your bags. Leave immediately.”

Joy’s prognosis was bleak. She had just been diagnosed with a disease that the statistics say will kill her at any time. If the disease doesn’t kill her, the treatment is just as bad.

491 miles away … and nearly 2 full years before I’d even set eyes on the woman of my dreams … God moved. He rallied. Prayers were shot into the heavenly realm like bullets. God won. Jesus won.

“by His stripes, we are Healed”. (1 Peter 2:24b, YouVersion.Com)

I praise God for that night. I praise God for the backup support of my eternal friend and brother in Christ, Craig Walker. I praise God for the Wilbanks’ family who never wavered in their faith. I praise God for my own parents and family who heard of my encounter the next morning and continued praying.

And most of all, I praise God for my wife, Joy.

For her tenacity.
I was never there in her hospital room. I never held her during nearly 6+ mos of in-and-out chemo treatments, as she wasn’t mine. I didn’t share her tears. I didn’t share her pain. I couldn’t be there to comfort her after bone marrow biopsies, losing her hair, and fighting the doubts everytime one of the people in the rooms down the hall passed on into eternity.

I’ve heard all of the stories, though. Of how she refused to be negative. Of how she had God’s healing Word taped on index cards all over her IV pole and chemo caths. Of how her Dad would preach “sunday service” in the hall for the other patients. Of how no crying or sadness was allowed in that room - only faith, confidence, joy, and belief.

Nearly (10) years of marriage and (4) beautiful kids later, I will never forget how blessed we are.

God is Good. All the time.

The next time you feel compelled to pray, will you do it?

Dear Worship Team

Posted on April 14th, 2008 in Church Life, Encouragement, Worship Leadership by Fred

Hey Everyone -

Hope you had a great weekend. I hope to get a “Worship Confessional” out this week sooner-than-later. (yeah, right!).

I wanted to give a big “thanks” and “shout out” to our team members at SSCC. They are incredible. We’ve been asking a LOT from our volunteers … the “ask” when we moved from the old shopping center facility to our new facility only increased that much more.

One of the additional “asks” is that our volunteers, praise team members, host team, greeters, etc … all those who are there early, and stay for the morning … we’ve asked them to park off-site about 5 minutes away. We’ve hired a shuttle to run back and forth between SSCC and the Sea Island Bank parking area. Truth be told, I think we severely underestimated our parking capacity.

Yesterday was no exception. Our 11:00 AM service was full, and we didn’t have any parking spaces. So, because of the sacrifice of our volunteers (most of whom have a great attitude about it!), we were able to have spots for people to park.

This morning, I felt like writing a “Thanks” and “Encouragement” to those who served on the Worship Team yesterday. After doing so, I thought it would be good to share … to encourage all of you other worship leaders and ministry leaders … stop, and take a moment to show some gratitude for those who give sacrificially with you. A little “thanks” goes a long way.

Granted, this is specifically for our team, but here it is … I offer this with gratitude and sincerity:

Hey Team,
Just wanted to say “Thanks” for your serve yesterday to the Kingdom of Christ. We had a great Sunday.

I’d like to honor and recognize the sacrifice you all make, in time and energy. In case you didn’t hear, the parking lot was completely full during the 11:00 AM service.

Because you willingly sacrificed by riding the shuttle or being dropped off, someone was able to have a parking spot at SSCC.

I want you to know that your sacrifice and give isn’t without notice. I’m grateful for your generous donation of time and effort. But more importantly, God notices. He sees from heaven. Surely, He saves a great reward for you. With these beautiful works of righteousness and sacrifice, you can know that God sees and rewards you.

Thanks so much for all you do. Going the extra mile. Serving the people so that they can have a great time with Christ.

As I close, I just want to encourage and exhort you … obviously, Sunday AM isn’t always a time when we, as a “worship-leading team” have the luxury to just abandon ourselves in worship. I feel like if we just “lose it” up there, we can’t really be leading others. It’s our time to give - our time to lead … yes, to model worship by “doing it”, but at the same time, we give ourselves to the discipline of playing, singing, paying attention to arrangements, parts, and focusing on eye contact and ministry to those out in the congregation.

So, my challenge is to make sure you’re carving out some time in our hectic days just to “sit” at the feet of Jesus. We’ve been committing the 1st hour of each day here at SSCC with prayer and worship. What a privilege - it’s part of our work day. I’m the first to admit that I realize none of you receiving this email (or at least, most of you) have that luxury to “spend an hour in prayer and worship on the clock”. But I do want to encourage you to find that time - maybe only 15 minutes, 30 minutes … grab an iPod, or a CD, or just have a quiet place … and love on Jesus. Let Him love on you.

I won’t want for us to all get so caught up in ministry that we forget to just stop and love on Jesus. Remind yourself of the story of Mary and Martha. Martha was so busy with life, with activity, with responsibilities in preparing for Jesus’ visit, and she got really frustrated with Martha, because she was more concerned about just worshiping Jesus. When Jesus finally spoke up about it, He told Martha that Mary was doing the right thing.

I don’t write this to suggest we aren’t spending time with the Lord - on the contrary, it’s just a loving reminder to stay IN LOVE with Jesus. As the Worship Director, it’s imperative that I REMAIN IN LOVE with Jesus, and that I challenge, remind, and encourage YOU to do the same. He’s all that matters. He’s everything.

Amen???

Love you all!
For the Kingdom,
Fred

On Leadership: 3 Nuggets, Pt. 1

Posted on March 7th, 2008 in Encouragement, General Leadership, On Leadership, Worship Leadership by Fred

Hey Everyone -

Leadership is critical when we’re in positions of influence and ministry. Whether it’s my role as the Worship Director of St. Simons Community Church, my role as the owner of my own businesses, or my role as a Christ-follower in the marketplace and in the public arenas of life … leadership is important.

One of the things I love about working @ SSCC is being part of a large staff with some incredible leadership. Pastor David Yarborough is only a couple of years older than I am … but he’s got a lot more grey. (haha). Seriously, just about anytime you hear someone introducing him, they always say something like “this man is wise far beyond his years”. That’s so true.

Over the last few days I’ve had the privilege of walking through some church-related issues w/ him and I’ve been blessed to just sit back and listen to wisdom and be built up in leadership. I couldn’t help but jot down a few notes on a legal pad as we just talked.

Let’s introduce them in a 3-part blog series and discuss in the comments section.

On Leadership:

1. People need to be heard. Listen.

A good leader will listen to those he or she is leading. Personally, I think that’s one of the big differences between a leader and a dictator. Personally again … I can’t help but confess it’s one of my greatest weaknesses. If Joy (my wife) were an online/blogger/reader … she’d comment with a hearty “amen” there. But, I’m becoming better in this area. I’m trying to become more intentional about listening. The people may not be saying the right things … but they still need to be heard. They need to know that THEIR OPINION MATTERS.

I also think good leadership creates an environment where listening is possible, but also creates boundaries … there are times when we need to sit back and listen to those we are leading. Then, there are times when those who are being led need to just trust their leadership, yield when necessary, and hold their questions for the appropriate time. Giving people the opportunity to “be heard” shouldn’t be a free-for-all …. so, leaders should be intentional on setting aside quality time to “listen”. Maybe a lunch 1-on-1 … or maybe a smaller group “forum” from key people who are involved with the ministry or business area you are leading … or even a simple phone call.

Evaluate yourself. Are you listening to those you lead? When was the last time you were intentional about creating a dedicated time, forum, or appointment to just allow those you are leading to “be heard”?

Stay tuned for Parts 2 and 3 … in the meantime, let’s discuss “Listening Leadership” now … add your comment below!

PS: as a blogger/leader, I want to “listen” to those of you who read this blog … so I have a specific question, and I’d love for you to include your answer in the comments of this blog. I’m releasing this “Part 1″ on Friday. How are your weekend reading patterns? Would you prefer to have Parts 2-3 starting on Monday of next week - or to go throughout the weekend? “I’m listening ….”

For the Kingdom,
Fred

I’m feeling …

Posted on February 16th, 2008 in Church Life, Encouragement, Faith, Family by Fred

a bit tired …
a bit overwhelmed …
a bit excited …
a bit grateful …
a bit frustrated
a bit grieved …
a lot blessed

It’s Saturday night. I’m exhausted. This day started around 6:45 … the kids never sleep in on Saturdays. You can’t drag them out of bed on a school day, but the one, single day of the week I could sleep in, they are always up early. ALWAYS.

I had a great father/son date with Jon Michael, my oldest (he’s 7). We went to “Sweet Mamas” for breakfast and then he accompanied me to our new church facility where he was a great helper. We built table carts .. you know, those big metal dollies you can load folding tables up on and push around? He’s only 7, but he can run a socket, allen wrench, and knows the different sizes of bolts, washers, and nuts. Thanks, kiddo.

I’m overwhelmed. We have two more Sundays until we make the huge transition to our new church facility. I’ve never been involved in something this huge - this big - this massive. Every square foot of this 74,000 ft2 facility is about to bust with ministry. All of the music/audio/lighting/tech stuff comes together this coming week - including our first sound checks and rehearsals. Yet at the same time, I have this stuff going on with Andrew, our youngest son. I’ve had multiple shipments of products from vendors for my e-biz this week, many of which are still packed in boxes and not even listed for sale. I think I’m 2-3 days behind on shipping orders.

I’m excited … this new church building is going to be awesome. I’m also excited because I can feel the energy, excitement, vision, and I know that this island and region will be turned upside down.

I’m grateful … Joy’s upstairs getting the kids to bed. They are laughing, giggling. We had prayers together. We had a wonderful meal. I have a great church, a great job, beautiful kids, and a gorgeous wife who loves me. We live in a nice house on a resort island. Who could ask for more?

I’m frustrated … I love blogging, and keeping up with my friends in blogworld - but I just cannot keep up. Over 250+ unread blogs. I’ve not even been able to track the Compassion Blogs … from all my blog friends who are out in Uganda with Compassion International. Joy and I are SO READY to sponsor a child.

I’m grieved … not a week goes by, it seems, that I don’t hear reports of people who have walked with God for years .. decades, and I hear the stories of how they’ve stumbled in terrible ways. Sin you wouldn’t imagine. Scenarios that astound you. I’ve been saying over the last few years that “nothing surprises me” anymore. I wish it weren’t that way. Satan is a horrific foe … and I’ve seen how he’s ravaged the lives of those I’ve known for years, and it only makes me work out my own salvation with “fear and trembling”. But by the grace of God, it could be me.

I’m a lot blessed. God loves me, in spite of myself. When I’m tired, when I’m weak. When I’m excited, when I’m grieved. Regardless, God’s blessings overtake me.

I’m forever grateful.  Are you?

For the Kingdom,
Fred

Thanks and Encouragement from Romania

Posted on November 10th, 2007 in Encouragement, Music by Fred

Hey Ya’ll -

It’s Saturday, and I’m just hanging out w/ the kids, getting ready to watch the Auburn/Georgia game. Go Dawgs.

I received this email and it was just one of those times when this kind of encouragement really “hit the spot”. I was so blessed by this short email, and I replied and asked permission to share it with my blog readers. This email came from “Joan” in Romania. She’s been voting for my piano solo, “Away In A Manger” on IndieHeaven.Com’s FanFaves charts every single day. So have many of you - because it climbs the charts every day.

“Away In A Manger” is at #13 today on the charts. If even a small percentage of the people who read this blog will try to visit the FanFaves chart and vote daily, it could potentially make it to #1. I’ve NEVER had a song at #1 on this chart!

Anyway, thanks to all of you for your support and help. It’s a huge encouragement - more than you know. Checkout this wonderful testimony and email from Joan. I love hearing back from you folks who enjoy the music. Please keep’m coming. It’s an inspiration.

Hi dear Fred!

Just 1 week before you wrote me to vote on Indiheaven. At that time, you were at the bottom of top, but now you are on the 16th. Congratulations!!! I vote everyday for you and for those who are on the 1-15 place. I maximum rate for you and I minimum vote for them ;-) I don’t know if this is fair, but I really desire to see you on top 10. God bless you for you are our blessing!
Your songs are always inspiring and heart lifting up.

We love you very much!
Keep beeing the best for the Lord!

With love,
Joan Martonfi
Arad, Romania

Thanks, Joan. You blessed my heart more than you know. I had no clue that my simple piano melodies were touching lives in Romania!

And thanks to everyone else!

Fred

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