FredMcKinnon.Com

Yesterday I brought up a real issue – the issue of how easily we allow the negatives to outweigh the positives.  If you missed that post and the ongoing discussion, I’d encourage you to check it out.

Today I want to dive deeper into some of the soul-searching I’m doing.  For me personally, I’m really focusing these thoughts on my own heart, and how it applies, specifically, in my marriage and towards my kids.

For example:

1.  Why do we take the positives for granted.  Why is it that I can call out my wife if she doesn’t measure up to my expectations so quickly; yet fail to thank her for all the positives.  (and of course, the other way around – like I said yesterday, I’m the perpetrator, but also the victim, as are all of us)

2.  Why is it so dang important that the positives be recognized?  For me, it’s almost like I don’t care if I get reinforcement from the positives,  as long as there isn’t undue light on the negatives.  I even take my own positives for granted.  Don’t want to acknowledge my good stuff … I think I’m OK with that … as long as you don’t bring up the negative.  (and just to ease any lingering questions, I’ve honestly been pondering this for months, so though this episode plays out at home and work frequently, it’s not like I’m venting hidden marriage issues here!).

3.  What is it about the negatives that are so strong?  I really think it’s the hurt.  The hurt causes pain, and the pain speaks louder than, well … “the lack of”.

So … pain is loud.  The lack of pain is … silent?

So maybe … just maybe, the lack of pain, grief, negativity needs a sound.  Praise.  Applause.  Affirmation.

This was a recent exchange at my house after two back-to-back things were complained about:

“I feel like I can’t do anything right”.

Does that ring a bell?  Two complaints (I was the complainer, and unjustly I might add) now cover “everything I do” being wrong.  Why?
The complaints (especially when they are unjust) hurt.  That pain is loud.
All the things done right?  (the actual ratio would be 1 million right to 1 wrong, maybe, yet the “weighting factor” applied is reversed!)

There probably wasn’t much noise.

See where I’m going with this?  Tomorrow I hope to bring this to a close and let’s talk about some practical ways to make some noise.

Are you with me?  Am I alone?

We’re starting a new series this month called “Just Like Us”. One of the ideas I had in our creative meeting was to ask a bunch of kids … “if you could ask Jesus anything … what would it be”.

So Travis our Tech Director interviewed a bunch of kids for a promo video that I’m sure he’ll be posting soon … but my kid made the cut. I honestly can say I’m not the least bit surprised by his question.

Yes, I live on a luxury, beautiful island called St. Simons Island. But here’s my roots – pecan trees, deer stands, tractors, bass, catfish, and deer. And YES, I can indeed “skin a buck and run a trot line”, as the song says.

I’m enjoying a couple of days back in Telfair County, GA – home of the world record largemouth bass, the state record Boone and Crocket deer, and my home … Preparing our hunting club for this year’s deer season. This trip I’m honored to have my second-born son Will with me.

And this entire post is being sent via me cell phone, courtesy of www. Posterous.com

lemme know if it worked! I’m attaching a pic too.

Fred

Posted via email from fredmckinnon’s posterous

So, this is my sister, Susan.  She’s one incredible woman.  I lost count of how many degrees she has … math, computer science, Bible college, and on and on.  She’s taught in Universities, she’s taught in Bible Schools, she’s headed up distance learning and network/computer support for colleges ….

And she’s waited … 45+ years … for Mr. Right.

And she found him.

So this weekend we are celebrating the marriage of my sister, Susan McKinnon, to Mr. Joe Kerr.

All I can say is “watch out” to Christian City Church in the ATL … here we come.

I’m home.  I’m finally home.

I’ve been out of the office for 2+ weeks.  School starts tomorrow here so everybody is getting back in gear.

As those who follow this blog already know – I spent a week in Kansas at the National Worship Leader Conference.  I had the privilege of being a speaker at the conference and was on their “New Media” discussion panel as well.  Because of the generous, selfless time of mine and Joy’s parents, we were able to attend the KS trip together, husband and wife, with no kids!

After flying home from Kansas, we took 1-1/2 days to wash clothes, Read more »