I’ve allowed life to overwhelm me. I’ve allowed our crazy culture to overtake me.
I say I love you, but I don’t show you that affection as I should.
I should be so grateful. You’ve given me so many blessings. An incredible family, an amazing church, and an unbelievably amazing wife. I complained to her recently, that with her schedule, keeping up with four young kids, all of their activities, plus a house to manage, I feel like I’m last place. I complained that by the time I get time with her, she’s spent. I get the leftovers, if there are any.
Then, it dawned on me. That’s exactly how you feel about me.
I get preoccupied with social networking, with this blog, with subscribers, stats, comments, or the lack thereof. I get preoccupied with business ideas and networking plans that I’m positive come from your Spirit; yet, they become idols instead of tools.
I lead others in worship and serve you – it’s my job. I love it, and I love Your Presence, so why do I ignore it so often? Why do I reject you so often? Why would I rather stay up late watching meaningless TV shows only to regret it in the morning when I’m too tired to worship you in my private, hidden life? Why is there dust on my piano, and why do I never make music to you on my own anymore? You created me for this, yet I constantly fall to petty distractions.
I allow lustful thoughts to spark around in my mind until they ignite into a fire. Then, I have to fight to put it out.
I ignore Your Holy Spirit, constantly speaking and convicting me about the lack of care I have for my physical body.
I get too worked up over what others think about me. I get consumed with the desire to be accepted by everyone else, forgetting that you accept me regardless.
I spend more time typing in a blog or Twitter than I do in Your Word. No wonder I’m so screwed up. Do I really believe, even for a second, that ANYONE out there has more to offer than YOU?
God, I’m really sorry. It grieves me. I’m grateful for our time together this morning. I’m grateful for your love, mercy, and acceptance. I’m really eager for you to speak to me. I want wisdom. I will do whatever You say. Please order my steps.
Your Word is my prayer this morning:
5 Oh, that my steps might be steady, keeping to the course you set;
6 Then Iâ€™d never have any regrets in comparing my life with your counsel.
(Psalm 119: 5-6, “The Message”)
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